Bite my tongue

I'm not immune to frustrations and anxiety. I recognize that in myself.

What I can't stand is the way it can affect my relationships. There are days when things seem to pile up from every direction and all I can do is slowly lose my mind. Certainly all these things are more manageable than I have made them out to be. Not to mention how if I didn't procrastinate, I wouldn't have this problem.

Certainly why it is happening is irrelevant, and I even accept that it is happening. Yet I despise how it emanates from me. I do not want lunches to be a chore due my ranting about "all the shit I have to do today". I do not want texts to friends to have a "Why are you asking me stupid questions every ten seconds," when they are perfectly reasonable questions, that any other day I would happily answer.

I'm still trying to figure this out. "This" being how to have emotions or anxiety or frustration, and not allow it to have an impact on faultless people. It is difficult. I want to be grumpy and not have to work at maintaining a civil conversation. I'd like to sulk and ignore the planet. In the long run, it will get easier. I won't need to battle my inner dialogue continuously.

To those who tolerate me on days like today: Thank you, and I'm sorry.