Times Like These

It's difficult to know what to say at times like this. The end of a school year always brings a time for pondering and new beginnings. A fresh saga of pain and creation.

Change isn't as scary to me as it once was. I can uproot myself and change scenery without much thought. A new job, fresh living arrangement, an open pit of financial struggles. These are all things that have just become a part of life since college, and will likely continue for years down the road.

The change isn't the hard part. Being home, a new opportunity and seeing friends is all exciting and welcome. It's the lack of color. It's the way everything looks, or doesn't look. The way things smell or the lack of that smell. It's not an empty feeling or a "hole in the heart". Think of it more like the involuntary actions of the human body. You don't think about breathing or your heart beating. Yet if they weren't there, you'd be dead. Or lost.

I'm lost.

I told you I was going to be emo for a while.